I love Indiana Basketball fans. I don’t spend a lot of time around other team’s fans, and I admittedly subject myself, some would argue (accurately) unnecessarily, to the loud crazy that exists on fan forums and message boards, but I’m sure what I’m going to write about here is true of other fans of big time programs.
Let me give you a rundown of the general tone of conversation in Message Board Land, in chronological order. (Tip: This should all be read in one single breath to get the full effect)
Blackmon is going to announce tonight. I can’t believe we lost this kid to UK. What a bunch of assholes Calipari and everyone at UK is. We all know his mom wants him to go to IU, but his dad wants him to follow in his footsteps to UK. I hope he gets to make up his own mind. He’s such a punk. Crean totally screwed this whole thing up. When is he going to land a big time recruit? He’s totally whiffed on the 2014 class. I can’t stand that he broke his word. Just let it go. He’s not coming. He never was. This has been a done deal to UK since before he decommitted. Hey, did you see that Booker committed to UK? Now they have a PG and a SG for next year. A bunch of the analysts have flipped. It’s not 99% UK anymore. It’s only like 71%. IU really is the best fit for him. I don’t think he’s 1 and done, and what happens to him at UK if he is still there after one year and Cal recruits kids to play over him. I just can’t see how that’s a good fit for him. This is all his dad’s fault. I wish he’d shut up and let JBJ make up his own mind for once. I’m pretending that I’m interested in this football game. You guys are gonna suck it when he announces for IU and that story I told you about some kid I know talking to some other kid he knows and there was a cell phone and Blackmon said he was going to IU turns out not to be nonsense. Also, I’d told he wore and IU sweatshirt to school today. It’s halftime. He’s about to announce.
IT’S IU! HE’S COMING BACK! WHAT A GREAT KID! HE’S GOING TO BE THE SAVIOR OF THE PROGRAM! NICE JOB COACH CREAN! YOU ARE A MASTER AT COACHING, LIFE, TWITTER, AND DID I MENTION HOW ATTRACTIVE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN ARE? WHAT A GREAT DAY TO BE A HOOSIER! SUCK IT UK! WE ARE GOING TO BE SO AWESOME NEXT YEAR!
Hey, we only had two scholarship openings with Will and Evan graduating. We’re over signed by one. Who is going to have to go? Are we done with this recruiting class? What about Jaquan Lyle who is supposed to visit this weekend. Wasn’t he some kind of a head case that we never wanted anyway? I hear he’s not crazy anymore, so we should want him. But then we’d be over signed by two. Why would Crean do this again. I still think Hoetzel was a wasted scholarship. Anyone know why we haven’t offered a scholarship to this freshman from North Upton High School in West Upton, MD. He seems awesome. I don’t get why Crean waits on stuff like this. We’re totally going to lose this kid. Our 2015 Class is empty so far. Why can’t Crean land the big time recruits?
I’ve seen this type of thing so many times now that I’m beginning to wonder if it’s normal human behavior. At first I thought it was just the crazy rantings of a small group of fanatical outliers, but what if this type of manic worry/exaltation/worry is the way everyone reacts to everything? Is it really that much different than Halloween?
We had this whole run up of gotta get the costume. Do we have enough candy? When is Trick-or-Treat? Is it going to rain? Are they going to postpone Trick-or-Treat? Then…
OMG IT’S HALLOWEEN! I LOVE HALLOWEEN! IT’S THE BEST HOLIDAY EVER! I DON’T CARE IF IT’S RAINING, I’M CRAZY STAPLEHEAD! I’VE GOT A STAPLER ON MY HEAD. NOW GIVE ME SOME CANDY!
And today the decorations are coming down, the Christmas aisle that was already up on Wednesday is now two aisles and we can start to worry about our Thanksgiving travel plans and begin our Christmas shopping in earnest.
It seems like we we work ourselves up about things for a long time, celebrate or mourn them for a moment, and then immediately work ourselves up about the next thing, and this continual loop of emotional is not something to be mocked. It is something to be accepted. Or to get really worked up about, accept, and then get really worked up about again.